NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 




DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. 

A Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Larife Cataloitue Free. 
Price 15 Cents Each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given. 



DRAMAS. COMEDIES. ENTER- 
TAINMENTS. Etc. 

M. F. 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1% 

hrs. (2Sc) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 4 4 
All That Glitters Is Not Gold, 

2 acts, 2 hrs 6 3 

Altar of Riches, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 5 5 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2^5^ 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. . . 4 5 
Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 8 4 
Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 9 3 

Bonnybell, 1 hr (25c).Optnl. 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) - 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 h.(25c) 7 4 
Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs.(2Sc) 7 4 

Caste, 3 acts, 2'/^ hrs 5 3 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. (25c) 17 14 
Cricket on the Hearth, 3 acts, 

154 hrs 7 8 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs... 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 acts, 

214 hrs....: (25c) 6 4 

Down i.i Dixie, 4 acts, 2J^ hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

East Lynne, 5 acts, 254 hrs 8 7 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 

Elma, 1 M hrs (25c) Optnl. 

Enchanted Wood, 1J4 h.(35c) Optnl. 

Eulalia, 1 yi hrs (25c) Optnl. 

Face, at ihe Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

jP.om Sumter to Appomattox, 4 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 2 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

114 hrs (25c) 9 14 

Handy Andy (Irish) , 2 acts, 1 ^ h. 8 2 
Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 h (25c) 12 

Home, 3 acts, 2 hrs 4 3 

Honor of a- Cowboy, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs (25c) 13 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (2Sc) 5 4 
It's All in the Pay Streak, 3 

acts, 1?4 hrs (25c) 4 3 

Jayville Junction, iVi hrs.(2Sc)14 17 
Jedediah Tudkins, J. P., 4 acts, 

254 hrs (25c) 7 S 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Light Brigade, 40 min (2Sc) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

<25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 h*L..(25c)13 
Lonelyville Social Club, 3 acts^ 

m h«s <3Sn) 10 



M. F. 

Louva, the Pauper, 5 acts, 2 h. . 9 4 
Man from Bbriieb, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 5 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2]^ 

hrs ...(25c) 9 5 

Mirandy's Minstrels. . . . (25c) Optnl. 

New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr..... 3 6 
Not Such a Fool 'as Ht Loolcs, 

3 acts, 2 hrs 5 3 

Odds with the Enemy, 4 acts, 

1 }i hrs 7 4 

Old Maid's Club, lyi hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1J4 hrs (25c)12 9 

Only Daughter, 3 acts, 1}4 hrs. 5 2 
On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2J4 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Our Boys, 3 acts, 2 hrs 6 4 

Out in the Streets, '3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 

Pet of Parson's Ranch, 5 acts, 2 h. 9 2 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, IJ^ hrs.. 6 5 

Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 

Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 154 hrs. 7 3 

Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2^4 h. 8 3 

Solon Shingle,>2 acts, IJ^ hrs.. 7 2 

Sweethearts, 2 acts, 35 min.... 2 2 
Ten Nights in a Barroom, 5 

acts, 2 hrs 7 4 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Ticket-of -Leave Man, 4 acts, 2f^ 

hrs 8 3 

Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, Zyi 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h. . (25c) 6 4 

Trip to Storyland, 1^4 hrs. (25c) 17 23 

Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
Under the Spell, 4 acts, 2}4 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES. COMEDIETTAS. Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 1' 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min .... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Cabman No. 93, 40 min 2 2 

Case Against Casey, 40 min ... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min. . . 7 

Country Justice, 1 5 min 8 

C;«w that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Kandolph St.. ChicniSo 



KATIE'S NEW HAT 



A FARCE 



BY 

ALICE C. THOMPSON 

AUTHOR OF 



'Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party ^^^ ''Fudge and a Burglar,'' 

"Honest Peggy,'" "The Luckiest Girl" 

and "The Wrong Baby" 



CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



KATIE'S NEW HAT 

CHARACTERS. -^^ ^ 

Mrs, Murphy ." An Irish Lady 

Susie Murphy '\ 

NoRAH Murphy >■ Her Daughters. 

Maggie Murphy Aged Eleven ) 

Mrs. Schneider A German Lady 

Katie Schneider .Her Daughter 

And the tzuins behind the scenes. Not seen but heard. In 
the itnngs L. someone may imitate babies crying at a given 
cue. 



Time of Playing — About T-wenty Minutes. 



COSTUMES. 

Mrs. Murphy, Susie and Maggie, plain dresses. Norah, 
neat dress such as shop girl would wear. Katie, rather 
showy dress and very large hat trimmed with a wreath of 
big red cherries. Mrs. Schneider, plain dress and hat. 



PROPERTIES. 

Dishes on table, a loaf of bread, knives, forks, pans and 
kettles, a dishpan and towel, a large straw hat trimmed with 
red cherries, a bottle of riieilicine. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of the stage ; C, center ; R. C, rig-ht cen- 
ter ; L., left; R. D., right door; L. D., left door, etc. 



COPYRIGHT, 1911, BY EBEN H. NORMS. 

2 



CCI.D 25550 



KATIE^S NEW HAT 



Scene: Mrs. Murphy's kitchen. A simply furnished 
room with square table at R. C. set for dinner for four per- 
sons. At each end a chair and two at the far side facing 
audience. At L. C. there are pans and kettles hanging on 
nails on wall and a washtub and washboard. Entrances C. 
dozvn L. 

The curtain rises to discover the Murphys at dinner. 
Mrs. Murphy sits at side with Maggie, facing audience, 
Susie at one end, Norah at the other. 

Mrs. Murphy. Cheer up, Norah, Ye've got a good home 
and a aisy conscience to bless ye. And sure there's plenty 
more girls in the world besides Katie Schneider, 

Norah. Yes, there's plenty more girls, mother, but 
Katie was the best friend I ever had and now I never see 
her no more, 

Mrs. M. No sinsible girl's goin' to give up her best 
friend bekase av a raymark passed jist to make talk. 

Norah. Well, she has given me up, hasn't she? 

Susie, What's it all about? What did you say, ma? 

Mrs. M. Nothin' but that her Aunt Jinnie's new gownd 
looked for all the world loike Grandmother Nancy's bed 
quilt over in ould Oirland. And begorra, it did that too! 
Pass the pertaties, Susie. 

Norah, She'll never get over it. But never mind, ma. 
sure I know you've been sorry since the day ye said it. 

Mrs. M. Sorry is it? I was that mad I cud hev bitten 
out me tongue the minnit I seen the toss of her head over 
it. But bedad I niver saw the loike of that dress since I 
was born. 

Susie. Katie hasn't been to see us fer a month and 
when I meet her on the avenue she crosses over to the 
other side. 

3 



4 KATIE'S NEW HAT. 

Maggie. And she never stops to look at the twins no 
more. And she always used to kiss them even when they 
had dirty faces. 

NoRAH. I miss her terrible. (Rises.) I must get back 
to work. 

Mrs. M. Have ye made out a good dinner, Norah ? 

NoRAH. I've had a plenty, thanks. Susie, I wisht you'd 
kape me things away from the twins. You know last week 
they chewed up me new kid gloves. 

Mrs. M. (rising). The darlints, and them scarce eleven 
months old. It's the first I've heard tell of it. 

Susie. We didn't tell you for fear you'd be scared, ma. 
I ran over to Mrs. Schneider's and ast her what to do. 

Mrs. M. Sure, a woman that's raised the family she has, 
fifteen av 'em besides Katie, is as good as a doctor for fix- 
ing them up. And she don't bear a grudge. I've nothin' 
agin' Mrs. Schneider savin' her queer lingo. 

Maggie. But praps we talk queer to her. 

Susie. I know she was awful kind. She gave me some 
medicine for 'em. 

Mrs. M. The loike of Mrs. Schneider is hard to beat. 
There she is. Always on hand with her bottle of ile and 
ready to go the minnit ye call. But babies she has a nat- 
chooral weakness for. 

Maggie. She said our twins is wonderful babies. 

Mrs. M. And so they be. They do take after your pa. 
Poor Pat, he was that sthrong, I always did tell him he'd 
outlive me, and so he wud hadn't it been for a thoomp 
on the head from Casey's hod, just this nine months gone. 
(Wipes eyes.) 

NoRAH. I'll be home about five today. (Puts on hat.) 
So long. (Exit NoRAH C.) 

Mrs. M. Poor Norah. She takes it terrible bad over 
Katie. 

Susie. I don't wonder. You don't know how I miss the 
sight of her, too. (Rises.) She was a fine girl, to go around 
with. (Susie begins to clear table.) 

Maggie. And she bought me candies and once she gave 



KATIE'S NEW HAT. 5 

the twins a chocolate mouse apiece; oh, the cutest little 
mouses ! 

Mrs. M. Yes, bedad she did, and Tommy came near to 
chokin' to death over his, hadn't it been for Mrs. Schneider 
who was passin' by and able and willin' to pull the cray- 
thur out be the tail. The swate little angel! (A prolonged 
hoivl at L.) There he is. Run and look to him, Maggie. 
{Exit Maggie L.) 

Susie. I just wisht I cud see Katie agin! 

Mrs. M. Thry wishin' over the new moon. There was 
me grandmother in Tipperary — (a knock C. The door is 
opened by Katie Schneider.) 

Susie. It's Katie Schneider! 

Katie enters C. 

Katie. Sure it is. I thought I'd just come in to pass 
the time of day. (Katie ivears a very large hat trimmed 
with a wreath of big red cherries.) 

Susie {running to her). Oh, Katie, 'tis the longest while 
since I've seen you. {Kisses her.) 

Mrs. M. Ye're as welcome as the flowers in May. Have 
a chair. 

Katie. I can't stay but a minute. {Sits.) It's fine 
weather we're havin' already, Mrs. Murphy. 

Mrs. M. {sitting). Foine indade. And how does your 
mother be kapin', Katie? 

Katie. In the best of health, thank you. 

Mrs. M. Take off your hat, Katie. You'll be more com- 
fortable loike without it. 

Katie. Yes, I will. (Removes hat and holds it up.) 
How do you like it? It's me new one. 

Susie. Oh, Katie, them cherries is as natchooral as life. 

Katie. Cherries on hats is all the go now. The minute 
I saw this one I says to myself, "I'll have that hat with 
cherries if I have to give my last cent for it and foot it to 
work for a month." 

Mrs. M. Lets be havin' a near look at it, Katie. (Katie 
passes hat. ) My faith, it's a grand one ! See the way thim 



6 KATIE'S NEW HAT. 

cherries be put on. Loike they're growin' there and the 
lovely red color av 'em. It makes me mouth water fer a 
taste. 

Susie. I wisht yu'd come in a few minutes afore, Katie. 
Norah was home to dinner. 

Katie. Is she well ? I haven't seen her for quite a whiles. 

Mrs. M. Sure, she's jist breakin'.her heart for you, 
Katie. 

Katie. I'm sorry. I want to see Norah. Tell her to 
come over and let by-gones be by-gones. 

Mrs. M. 'Tis a sinsible girl you are, Katie. 

Katie. How's the twins? 

Mrs. M. Growin' loike sunflowers, bliss 'em, and good 
as gold. Ye niver hear a word out of 'em. (Loud screams 
at L.) Unless they're wantin' fer somethin'. That's Molly, 
the angel. 

Enter Maggie L. 

Maggie. The twins is cryin' fer somethin' to ate, ma. 

Mrs. M. Be aff wid ye, Maggie. 'Tisn't an hour since 
they had a big dish av pertaties. 

Maggie. Oh, there's Katie. 

Katie. Hello, Maggie. My, she's growing. And kin 
the twins walk yet already? 

Maggie. No, they can only crawl. My what a beautiful 
hat! 

Mrs. M. Yes, this is Katie's new hat. Here, Maggie, 
put it in a safe place till she's ready to go home. 

Maggie {taking it). I will. Be they rale cherries, Katie? 

Mrs. M. Bliss the child. No, but I don't blame ye fer 
mistakin' av 'em. {Exit Maggie L. holding the hat very 
carefully. Katie looks anxiously after her.) Well, Katie, 
what's the news? Beggin' your pardon, I'll go on wid me 
work. (Mrs. M. ivashes dishes while Susie dries them.) 

Susie. Have you got a raise yet, Katie? 

Katie. No, but I'm expectin' it soon. You heard about 
Lizzie McCollum bein' made forelady in our department, 
didn't you ? 



KATIE'S NEW HAT. 7 

Susie. No, indeed. That's news to me. 

Mrs. M. Did you iver! I always said Lizzie McCollum 
was bomid to rise in the world. Why, on Monday, whin 
her mother got out the washboard, Lizzie up and sez she, 
"Ma, I wisht it was a pianny ye was thoompin' 'stid av 
thot." The grand idees av her ! 

Re-enter Maggie L. 

Maggie. I want to stay in here where all the talkin's 
goin' on. 

Mrs. M. Then go to work and help. What's the twins 
doin'? 

Maggie. Oh, jist playin' together. (Maggie clears 
table.) 

Mrs. M. If the twins aint the best ever! Not a mite 
av trooble, blessed angels ! They do take after their pa. I 
always knew where he was o'nights. There he'd sit a' 
readin' av his paper, yez remembers him, children, and 
quiet as a mouse and not a word out of him. Poor Pat ! 
{Wipes eyes.) 

Maggie. I think he was skeered av ye, ma. 

Mrs. M. If ye mane that, saucy Maggie Murphy, I've 
a moind to take the broom handle to ye. (Maggie runs to 
Susie.) 

Susie. Oh, she didn't mane any harm, ma. {Loud 
screams at L. Exit Maggie L.) 

Mrs. M. Now phwats the matter with the twins? I 
hope the poor darlins aint got the colic agin. 

Katie. Poor little things ! 

Mrs. M. 'Tis your mother is the grand nurse, Katie. 
And a rale leanin' to babies she has. 

Re-enter Maggie L. in great excitement. In one hand 
she holds Katie's hat from which all the cherries are gone. 

Maggie. Oh, look, the twins have ate all the cherries 
off Katie's new hat. (Katie screams, rushes to her and 
seizes nezv hat.) 

Katie. My new hat ! Oh, my cherries ! My cherries ! 



8 KATIE'S NEW HAT. 

My cherries ! {Her voice rises each time she utters the 
word "cherries/' She drops the hat at her feet and sobs 
into her hands.) 

Mrs. M. Oh, me poor children! They'll die. It'll kill 
thim intoirely. Oh, what shall I do? (Wrings hands.) 

Susie. I'll go for Mrs. Schneider. 

Mrs. M. Yes ; quick, run ! (ii^r^V Susie C.) 

Katie. Oh, my new hat ! My new hat ! Why did I come 
here? (Katie sobs.) 

Mrs. M. Yes, why for did you come with a bushel av 
immytation cherries on yer head? Ye might know them 
poor little innercents wud eat 'em up ! 

Katie. How did I know they'd eat the trimmings off a 
hat ? I gave all my money for it and now look at it. (Sobs 
loudly.) 

Mrs, M. Oh, Katie Schneider, if me poor childern die 
av yer immytation cherries their death will lay at your 
door ! 

Katie. Don't you go threatnin' me, Mrs. Murphy. Give 
me back me cherries. (Maggie begins to cry.) 

Mrs. M. How kin I give ye back yer cherries, ye on- 
feelin' craythur, whin me poor babies hev swallowed 'em? 

Maggie. Oh, I don't want Molly and Tommy to die. 
(Sobs.) 

Katie, Mother can fix 'em up. She's great at it. But 
look at my new hat. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! (The twins 
scream lustily.) 

Mrs. M. There, thim cherries is disagreein' with 'em, 
jist as I said. I'm half afeard to go in. I'm a comin', me 
jewels, I'm a comin'. (Exit L. Katie goes over to L. and 
looks in room.) 

Maggie, Are they dead, Katie? 

Katie, No, they're kicking. (Comes dozvn C.) They'll 
get over it all right. But what can I do with that hat? 

^ '' Enter Susie C. 

Susie (breathless). Here's Mrs. Schneider. I met her 
on the street, I ran all the way up. 



KATIE'S NEW HAT. . 9 

Enter Mrs. Schneider C. She is a stout zvoman and 
carries a small bottle. 

Mrs. Schneider. Ach, Susie, how you liaf hurry me 
alretty ! I count two hundred steps. I haf no breath in me 
lef. Where are your babies yet? So, Katie, you here? 

Susie. In here. Please hurry, Mrs. Schneider. They 
may be dying. 

Mrs. Sch. Vait a minoot. Vat you say they haf now 
eat? 

Susie. Immytation cherries. 

Katie. Yes, the cherries off my new hat. And now 
look at it, ma. 

Mrs. Sch. The cherries off your new hat. What did 
you with a new hat come for? You know babies. 

Enter Mrs. M. L. 

Mrs. M. Oh, Mrs Schneider, come quick and see what 
you can do with 'em. Tommy's roUin' around somethin' 
fearful. 

Mrs. Sch. I come alretty. Poor Katie. Her new hat 
will be done for alretty yet so soon. Yah. (Exit with Mrs. 
M. L.) 

Susie. Oh, Katie, I don't blame you. 

Katie. Thank you, Susie. I don't know what I'll do 
about my hat. {Sniffles.) 

Susie. I'm real sorry. , 

Enter Mrs. M. L. 

Mrs. M. Susie, some water. Take it in to Mrs. Schnei- 
der. She can't do nothin' with Molly whiles I'm in there. 
You stay with 'em. (Susie fills a saucepan zvith zvater and 
exits L.) Don't you be takin' it so heart, Katie. (Katie 
goes up C. carrying hat.) And don't be lavin' us yit. Maybe 
we can fix it up. 

Katie. It's past fixin'. The cherries is gone. 

Mrs. M. a bit av red ribbon or a feather wud look 
grand onto it. I'll tell you, Norah is the foine wan fer 



10 KATIE'S NEW HAT. 

trimmin' hats. We'll fix it yet. {The twins scream.) Oh, 
me babies ! 

Katie. I guess I'll stay till I see how they get along. 
{Goes to L. and looks in room.) 

Mrs. M. (Maggie runs to her mother and whispers in 
her ear). Sure and be quick about it. {Exit Maggie C.) 
I'm thot nerveous about the poor mites. {Babies scream.) 

Katie. Don't you worry, Mrs. Murphy. Tommy is 
playin' with the sewin' machine and Molly is takin' mede- 
cine like it was jist grand. 

Mrs. M. Praise be! They're gittin' over it. 

Katie. Now they're laughing. They think it's a joke. 

Mrs. M. {proudly). Them twins kin enjoy anything 
from clams to sauerkraut. 

Katie. Susie says they're all right. So I'll be goin'. 
{Comes dozvn C.) 

Mrs. M. No, no. Don't go yet. Wait a bit. Sure, Katie, 
you're not holdin' a grudge agin poor Norah. 

Katie. No, but I haven't laid eyes on her for weeks. 

Mrs. M. Norah thinks ye're mad at her. 

Katie. Tisn't Norah. When people say rude things. 

Mrs. M. Don't think no more of that, Katie. You know 
a woman's tongue will say things jist fer the pleasure of 
waggin'. No offence meant. There's me hand on it. Stay 
and see the babies. They'll be tickled to see ye. 

Katie. I'll stay a few minutes. 

Mrs. M. That's right. A few minutes will do the 
thrick. {Smiles meaningly.) 

Enter Mrs. Schneider L. 

Mrs. Sch. Now don't you go to worrying, Mrs. Mur- 
phy. Dot babies is all right so soon. Ach, wonderful babies 
they are. I know somedings about babies, nicht wahr ? 

Enter Susie L. 

Susie. The twins are all right again, ma. {Goes to 
Katie. ) . 

Mrs. M. I'm proud to say it'll take more'n a wreath av 



KATIE'S NEW HAT. 11 

immytation cherries to kill the Murphy twins. Cheer up, 
Katie. And what kin I do fer you, Mrs. Schneider? 

Mrs. Sch. If you could the cherries give back to me 
poor Katie. But you can't get 'em. 

Mrs. M. 'Tis past the power of any mortal to git them 
cherries. But a new red ribbon would look grand, I'm 
thinkin'. 

Enter Maggie C. 

Mrs, Sch. Ach, here is the girl I want. Maggie, you 
go in mit dem babies and see to it that they don't eat the 
bottle which I put the medecine inside. (Mrs. Sch. laughs 
Exit Maggie L.) Now come home, Katie. (Katie picks 
up her hat and looks at it ruefully. Mrs. Sch. goes up C.) 

Enter Norah C. 

NoRAH. What's the matter? Maggie came for me. 

Katie. Norah ! 

Norah. Katie! (Runs and kisses her.) My, it's glad I 
am to see you again, Katie. But what's the matter with the 
twins ? 

Mrs. M. It's Katie's new hat. All the trimmings gone. 
The twins have ate 'em, but praise be, they're well over it. 

Norah. Little pigs. Why did you let 'em have it ? Poor 
Katie. Her hat is spoilt, for sure. 

Enter Maggie L. holding up the wreath of cherries. 

Maggie. Look ! The cherries ! I've found the cherries ! 

Susie. The cherries! 

Mrs. M. Presarve us! (Sits down suddenly.) The 
cherries! (Maggie brings the wreath to Katie.) 

Maggie. They never ate one. They frew 'em out on 
the fire escape. 

Mrs. M. The cleverness av 'em, 

Susie. And they're as good as new. Here, I'll fix 'em 
on. (Susie puts cherries on hat.) 

Norah. Maggie, you're a jewel. (Kisses her.) 



12 KATIE'S NEW HAT. 

Mrs. M. And them poor darlints, dosed fer nothin'. 
(Katie puts on hat.) 

NoRAH. That's fine, Katie. (Takes her arm.) 

Mrs. Sch. So it all ends happy. But where do I come 
yet after all my trouble? 

Mrs. M. Faith, Mrs. Schneider, you don't come any 
more for the babies, I'm hopin'. You go out now, and bet- 
ter luck to you next time. (The babies scream.) I'm a' 
comin', me jewels; I'm a' comin'. 

Curtain. 



A Daughter of the Desert 

By CHARLES ULRICH. 

Price. 2S Cents 

A comedy-drama of the Arizona Plains, 4 acts; 6 m., 4 f. Time, 
2% h. Scenes: 2 interiors. Easy to set. Characters: Harold 
Morton, a railroad surveyor. Clarence Ogden, a rancher. Samuel 
Hopkins, a land speculator. Pedro Silvera, a Mexican renegade. 
Jim Parker, a gambler. Bill Jones, a sure-flre sherifE. Ruth 
Arlington, a daughter of the desert. Mrs. Mary Ogden, a widow. 
White Bird, an Apache Indian girl. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Clarence and Lucy have an adventure. "How dare you 
kiss a helpless girl, sir?" Silvera's charge. Your father was killed 
by Charles Morton. The avowal of love. Hopkins dotes on custard 
pies. The Apache outbreak. "If I die, clear my father's name." 

Act II. — "It's not my stomach, but my heart, papa." Clarence 
wounded. The arrest of Morton. White Bird's avowal. "We shall 
bring the guilty to justice." 

Act III. — How Silvera got a scar on the back of his hand. "I put 
it there with my sticker!" "I am a man of honor and my word is 
my bond." The rescue of Morton by cowboys. Ruth has the upper 
hand. Off to the Mexican line. 

Act IV. — "My husband ate two lemon pies and died." White Bird 
clears up the mystery. "Silvera shot him in back." Jones and 
Parker take a hand in the game. Ruth the richest girl in Arizona. 
Everybody happy. 

The Lonely ville Social Club 

By W. C. PARKER. 
Price, 25 Gents 

Comedy, 3 acts; 10 f. Time, 1% h. Exceedingly lively and 
humorous. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Time hangs heavily on the hands of Mrs. Jack Newly- 
wed and Magda Peachblow, and they resolve to form a social club. 
The representative ladies of the village make a 9 o'clock general 
call. 

Act I presents Lonelyville's "four hundred." The stormy session 
of the benefit society. Gladys is both seen and heard. General con- 
fusion. 

Act II. — Mrs. Newlywed attempts to form the social club. Mrs. 
Purse Proud on her track. Discovered. A stormy scene. The 
determination to present "Uncle Tom's Cabin." 

Act III. — The town hall has been converted into a theater for 
the occasion. Gladys raises a row. Mrs. Steps and Mrs. Proud 
settle old scores. Ellen makes a show of herself. The performers 
are guyed by the "audience" and the performance cut short in 
disgust. The windup of the "Lonelyville Social Club." " 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



All A Mistake 

By W. C. PARKER. 
Price, 23 Cents 

Farce-comedy, 3 acts; 4 m., 4 f. Time, about 2 h. Scenes: Easy 
to set. Lawn at "Oak Farm" and drawing-room. Characters: 
Capt. Obadiah Skinner, a retired sea captain. Lieut. George Rich- 
mond, his nephew, who starts the trouble. Richard Hamilton, a 
country gentleman. Ferdinand Lighthead, who falls in love don- 
cherknow. Nellie Richmond, George's wife. Nellie Huntington, a 
friend. Nellie Skinner, antiquated but still looking for a man. 
Nellie Mclntyre, a servant. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — The arrival of George and his bride. A friend in need. 
The old maid and her secret. Ferdy in search of a wife. George's 
jealousy. The sudden appearance of a most undesirable part3'. 
George's quick wit prevents discovery. 

Act II. — The plot thickens. Cornelia in search of her "Romeo." 
The downfall of Ferdy. Richard attempts to try the "soothing 
system" on a lunatic. George has a scheme connected with a fire 
in the furnace and some pitch tar. Richard runs amuck amid gen- 
eral confusion. 

Act III. — The Captain arms himself with a butcher knife and 
plans revenge. Nelhe hopelessly insane. The comedy duel. "Ro- 
meo" at last. "Only one Nellie in the world." The unraveling of 
a skein of mystery, and the finish of an exciting day, to find it was 
"All a Mistake." 

A Busy Liar 

By GEORGE TOTTEN SMITH. 
Price. 23 Cents 

Farce-comedy, 3 acts; 7 m., 4 f. Time, 2% h- Scenes: Easy to 
set, 1 exterior, 2 interiors. Characters: Simeon Meeker, who told 
one lie. Judge Quakely. Senator Carrollton. Macbeth, a hot-headed 
Scotchman. Dick, in a matrimonial tangle. W^illiam Trott, a re- 
cruit. Job Letts, another one. Mrs. MacFarland, everybody's 
friend. Tennie, with a mind of her own. Janet, a Scotch lassie. 
Mrs. Early, a young widow. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Off to the war. A paternal arrangement of marriage. 
Janet of the Macbeth clan. Some complications. Meeker and the 
Widow. A lapse from truth. Meeker made captain. "You are 
afraid to go." "Afraid? Never!" 

Act II. — In camp. Captain Meeker and strict discipline. The 
Widow, the Judge and the Senator court-martialed. The Widow 
wins. Another lie and more complications. An infuriated Scotch- 
man. "You held her in your arms." "She is my wife." 

Act III. — The ball. "Not military matters, but matrimony. 
"Another of Meeker's fairy stories." The Captain in kilts. "The 
funniest thing I ever saw." The Widow untangles a tangle of hes. 
A lass for every lad. Peace proclaimed. Meeker remams at the 
base of supplies." 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



On the Little Bi^ Horn 

By CHARLES ULRICH. 

Price, 23 Cents 

Western comedy-drama, 4 acts; 10 m., 4 f. Time, 2i^ h. Scenes: 
2 interiors, 1 exterior. Easy to set. Characters: Ludlow, a cavalry 
officer. Winston, a West Pointer. Carleton, an Indian agent. Gra- 
ham, commandant of Ft. Winslow. Dakota Dan, a scout. O'Raf- 
ferty, an Irish sergeant. War Eagle, a Sioux Indian chief. Hop 
Sing, a Chinese cook. Hanks, a telegraph operator. Martin, a 
trooper. Beryl Seymour, the belle of the garrison. Rose-of-the- 
Mist, a pretty Indian maiden. Sue Graham, a soubrette. Mrs. 
Spencer, a talkative widow. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — The Major's suspicion. Rose reveals a secret. News of 
the Indian uprising. "This is what love has brought me to." The 
abduction. A soldier's oath. "To the rescue — then justice." 

Act II. — "The Indians are coming." A scared Chinaman. "Saves 
Hop Sing's pigtail." Rose offers to give herself up to Spotted Face 
to save the palefaces. The avowal of love. "We will fight and die 
together." The rescue. 

Act III. — ^A message from the President. The wire is cut. "This 
Is the the work of Carleton." "The testimony is perjured and the 
documents are forgeries." "I believe you innocent." "You are to 
be shot at sunrise." Beryl to the rescue. Beryl at the telegraph 
key. The reprieve. 

Act IV. — A scout's experience with a Chinaman. "I love ye, 
Rose." "We talk to parson." Saved by an accident. "We will 
surprise mamma and papa." Hop Sing goes on strike. Carleton 
In disguise returns. "I will kill you and have my revenge." Rose 
shoots Carleton. The reunion. '.'It is God's way." 

An American Hustler 

By WILLIAM S. GILL. 

Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy-drama, 4 acts; 7 m., 4 f. Time, 21/^ h. Scenes: Laid in 
Idaho and Chicago. Easy to set, 1 exterior, 3 interiors. Characters: 
Major Bob, editor of the "Eagle's Scream." Rawdon, a gambler. 
Steve, a young miner in hard luck. Old Joe, a miner who 
doesn't mine. Duxum, a lawyer. Binks, his clerk. Servant. Ame- 
lia, Old Joe's daughter. Priscilla, principal of a young ladies' sem- 
inary. Annie, a deserted wife. Mary, the maid. 

SYNOPSIS. 
Act I. — In Paradise. The Major says something. 
Act II. — Law office in Chicago. The Major learns something. 
Act III. — Miss Fagg's Seminary. The Major tells something. 
Act IV. — ^Apartment in Major's house. The Major introduces 
something. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



The Heiress of Hoetown 

By HARRY L. NEWTON AND JOHN PIERRE ROACH. 
Price, 25 Cents 

A rural comedy, 3 acts; 8 m., 4 f. Time, 2 h. Scenes: 2 ex- 
teriors. Characters: Jimmie Blake, a physical culturist. Jack 
Wright, a civil engineer. Ezra Stonyboy, the postmaster. Count 
Picard, waiting at the church. Corporal Cannon, a veteran. White 
Blackstone, dealer in titles. Congressman Drybottle, a power in 
politics. Doohttle Much, constable and proprietor of the village 
hack. Mary Darling, an heiress. Jane Stonyboy, with ideas. Tillie 
Tung, the village pest. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — ^Borrowing a screen door. Blackstone, a dealer in titles. 
Mary comes back home. Blackstone wants Jimmie to travel for his 
health. "One hundred thousand dollars as expense money." "No, 
I am going to a strawberry festival and that's worth more to me." 
The lost necklace. The proprietor of the village hack discovers 
something. "She's a fine gal, she is." 

Act II. — The Strawberry Festival. Blackstone schemes a quick 
marriage. A busy time for Doolittle Much. "Search that man. 
Constable!" The necklace is found on the wrong man. "Any man 
caught with no visible means of support can be arrested as a com- 
mon vag." The Count is "pinched." 

Act III. — The siege of Hoetown. The Count works out his fine 
on the highway. "Shark, you're a liar!" The financial panic and 
the loss of Mary's money. The Count and Blackstone get "cold 
feet" and hike for old Broadway. Mary loses her home. "Come 
on, kid, I've got carfare." 

Mirandy's Minstrels 

By SOPHIE HUTH PERKINS. 

Price, 25 Cents 

A Female Minstrel entertainment. A complete ladies' minstrel 
show, full of novel ideas for costumes, finale, etc. Contains new 
jokes, gags, cross-fires, monologues and stump speeches. Ending 
with a most laughable farce, "Mrs. Black's Pink Tea," for 10 
female characters, which is a gem of humor. Those that have 
"put on" female minstrels and know the difficulty of obtaining suit' 
able material, will be delighted with this book. It is highly humor- 
ous, yet refined enough for any audience. 



The 



•ree 



By IVIAYME RIDDLE BITNEY. 

Price, 25 Cents 

A female burlesque initiation; 12 f. and any number of members. 
Time, about 40 m. Scene: Any lodge room. Characters: Head 
Officer, Instructors, Assistants, Marshal, Doorkeepers, etc. It is 
unique, as it ecu be used as an initiation for any society or lodge or 
as an entertainment. Brim full of fun and action, yet nov*; too bois- 
terous. Will please all women. _ 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



DENISOIS'S ACTING PLAYS. 

Price 15 Cents Each. Postpaid. Unless Different Price Is Giveh. 



M. F. 

Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min. ... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a "Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
<ireat Pumpkin Case, 30 min. ..12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min.... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 

min 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr 4 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min... 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea, 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 3S min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min... 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. . 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min 2 2 

Slasher and Crasher, 50 min. . . 5 2 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min.. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red' Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min. .3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. . 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marry? 20 min. 2 8 

Who Is Who? 40 min 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES. ILON- 
OLOOUES. ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

M. F. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. . 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min.. 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell College, 

15 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min... 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. . 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min.. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min... 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min... 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min.... 1 1 
Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min . . 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Recruiting Office, 15 min 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min i4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min... 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min... 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min... 3 

Umbrella Mender, 15 min 2 

Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, IS 

min 1 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min.. 5 1 



A itreat number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Cataloifue. 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 154 W. Randolph St, Chicago 



POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS 

Price. Illustrated Paper Covers, 2S cents each 




¥ N this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



DIALOGUES 



All Sorts of DiaIo|{ues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialoiiues. 

New, clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dlaloiiues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialofiues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dlaloiiues. 

50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
When (he Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide A^vake Dialogues. 

Brand new, original, successful. 

SPEAKERS. MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 

The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues.dialogues. 

Dialect ReadlniJs. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 

The Favorite Speaker. 
Choice prose and poetry. 

The Friday Afternoon Speaker. - 
For pupils of all ages. 

Humorous IMonolo^ues. 
Particularly for ladies. 

Monoloiiues for Yountf Folks. 
Clever, humorbus, original. 

The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of masterminds. 

The Poetical Entertainer. 
For reading or speaking. 

Pomes ov the Peepul. 

Wit, humor, satire; funny poems. 

Scrap-Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, poe- 
try. I4.N0S., per No. 25c. 



DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys* Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Plans, invitations, decorations, 

games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
The Little Folks, or Work and Play. 

A gem of a book. 
Little Folks* Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Finders and Swaying 

Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

HAND BOOKS 

The Debater's Handbook. 

Bound only in cloth, 50c. 
Everybody's Letter Writer. 

A handy manual. 
Good Manners. 

Etiquette in brief form. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Social Card Games. 

Complete in brief form. 

MINSTRELS. JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches.etc. 
Lau^hland, via the Ha*Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Ne^ro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Lar^e Illustrated Cataloiiue Free. 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



